nyc, 2017

New York changes people. In fact, every place you travel to has the capacity to change you. Changes perspectives, at least. In my first travel to New York, spring of 2017, I recall the small town youth in me fading away. I never really realised 'till then that I was not only exploring a foreign city, but I as well was exploring foreign places of my own mind and the entirety of my life. I was breaking boundaries, mind-boggled by the actuality of the vastness of the world, and of myself; all of which caused me to cut off unwanted parts of me in the past, holding on to the hope of a growth of something better.

nyc, 2017

Amid the noise that could crack your head open, and the oxygen-sucking crowds of the ill-scented city, I would constantly find myself caught in fluidity. It was in these times that I recounted my past, reevaluated my present, and reinvented my future. No, more importantly, it reminded me that in me exists a past, a present, and a future. It was as if my brain mirrors the fast-paced minutes of the city unforgivably, as there were times when I would be unable to apprehend my thoughts accurately. Yes, I have had such thoughts back home, but you see, being in an unfamiliar place almost alone gives you more room for deeper realisations.

Perspectives widened, inspirations around the city struck me like lightning. Maybe this could be the place where a life I've been daydreaming about could happen. Sure, movies don't come close to even just a mere scope of human life, but New York really is something.  The jazz that soothes me. The arts that move me. It's the closest thing I can get to a movie.

nyc, 2017

Fast forward to my second time around New York, summer of 2018. Still, New York changes people. Changes perspectives, at least. I've found that I'm not so afraid of big cities anymore. Even, I have come to the realization that in fact life, not even in New York, will never be the movie I daydream about, and that's okay. One thing's for sure and one thing's constant: change. And that's what makes life exciting, though most of the time, it's disguised as an antagonist. Except, nothing much changed my fascination of New York, despite it all.
The essence and soul of New York, contrary to popular belief, is not centered on the "concrete jungles where dreams are made of," nor is it found in the overhyped, overpriced, jam-packed tourist attractions. Rather, it lies within its people - New Yorkers. For me, I found it in every corner of the streets,
In every instrument, in every genre, in every language, in every lapse of my hustles and bustles, in my hectic train travels,
The live performances diverse New Yorkers put out there with so much passion are one of the many reasons why I find myself constantly drawn to and in awe with the city. And it's not only the priceless live music,


New Yorkers love to paint outdoors, and that inspires me. I would sit outside the Public Library and gaze at how they would intricately create their strokes - always varying from one person to the other.

Another of the many things New Yorkers have done that has stuck on my mind was this one time when I was on the subway in the spring of 2017. A man around his early 30s appeared from the other side of the train. He cleared his throat, attempted to divert the attention of the ear plugged riders to himself. Though only a head or two shot up, myself included, he did not falter. He oriented himself to stand tall, try as he might to fight the laws of physics, as the train swept by faster than the baffling winter/spring wind. "Today, this novel which I have written and published all on my own, is what I proudly call a subway bestseller, and surely, is on its way to become a New York Times bestseller." Alas, I could not recall the title of the novel, nor of the author's name. Still, this man, whom I hope is living the pursuits of his own happiness, inspires me to this day.